Friday, January 11, 2013

South Beach Diet

Day 3

Guess what?  I'm on a diet again!!! Can you believe it? Shocking, I know!!! This one I am very confident in. I have heard good things about it for years but always believed it'd be too difficult for me to do because I wouldn't be abl to keep up with preparing everything, all my meals fresh. I don't have time at work to prepare lunch, don't have time before work to prepare a breakfast and am too tired afterwork to prepare a dinner. However, all of this "too little time" had left me eating everything preprepared, preprocessed, sugar, carb filled crap. Consequently I was feeling my health decline rapidly. I rarely had physical, or mental energy to do little else but sleep and eat. Everything was becoming a chore, including getting out of bed. Didn't seem to matter what I tried to change my mood, frame of mind, or the way I felt was working. I was gaining weight, LOTS of it. My clothes didn't fit me anymore and I didn't like myself one little teeny tiny bit. So, in a last ditch effort I decided I MUST change my diet. It sincerely felt like my life was depending on it. I could myself loosing my life to a slow miserable agonizing existence much like someone I know and did not, do not want to see my life become like this persons. Yet down that road I was headed and needed to create a new path for myself. So, I researched many diets, I 've always had good luck with Jenny Craig, but it is very exspensive. All the diets are. I looked at Nutrisystems, Medifast, and others. Then I tried the South Beach diet online. Relatively inexspensive, less than $10.00 which supplies you with a menu, a multitude of recipes, and discounts on several books from how the diet works to cookbooks. I knew having a preplanned menu was good for me. It elminates last minute choices and decisions regarding what to fix and eliminates purchasing quality foods that I forget I have and they go bad, or I am unable to prepare them in a creative way that is appetizing. So, the preplanned menu and recipes took all that "guess" work away for me.

So, here I am at day 3! Already feeling better!! I simply can't believe how quick the change has been. The meals are quick, easy to prepare, and nutritious.  I must leave for work now. I will post recipes this weekend...Asian Meatballs, Pumpkin Spice Creme and more!!!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Curves and Bumps in the Road

Looking for some words of wisdom. Hoping you'll have some. What do you tell yourself when you find you’re unable to do the one thing that makes your day worth having? It may sound dramatic. But, it’s true. When I can’t  sing I feel a bird with clipped wings. A dolphin in captivity, or like an artist with my hands tied behind my back.
My asthma/bronchitis/cough has kept me from singing for months now. I tried doing an open mic last week and wasn’t able to sing. I tried, but when I went to open my mouth my voice just wasn’t there. It was MIA. Just as I thought I was making progress and learning to control my pitch and tone I lose the ability. Soooo frustrating. The same thing happened to me last winter. I was virtually unable to sing Dec through April. I did sing. But, most days I was struggling with holding back a cough the entire time, or having to stop during each song to cough. My throat is raw and my head hurts from constant coughing.
Anyhow I can play guitar. So, I focus on that. Nonetheless, the reason I play is so I can sing. W/out being able to do that it’s just not as enjoyable. I suppose it’s just MORE work. Because the guitar has to “sing.” I need to focus more and devote more to my technical skills of playing. I am grappling with what to do about that. I don’t want to sound petty and ungrateful for the things I do have. I am very grateful for my family, my new puppy, my home, the food on my table, my job and friends. Even so, this is weighing heavy on my mind and dampening my spirit.
I’m also frustrated because it is so difficult to find other players that are willing to play music with me. I enjoy the experience much more when it is shared. Yet, I am finding most musicians want to play and perform solo. I prefer doing it with others. As I write that statement I feel like such a spoiled brat! “I prefer doing it with others.” Well, waa waa waa poor baby. Wars are being waged around the world, people are being abused, neglected and dying. Yet, I am down trodden because I can’t find musicians to play music with me. What a spoiled brat I am.
Anyone reading this, if you have any words of wisdom that help you when your dreams are put on hold for nearly  ½ a year please share them with me.
Thanks for caring enough or being interested enough to read my blog. :D

This is a link to my first original song. I didn't sing all the versus and a bridge. The reason I"m posting it is because it's the night I tried to sing with the cough I've had for months. I didn't have any voice left. Makes me sad. 

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Open Mic Journals

Open Mic Journals

Just returned from an open mic. It's been a long time. I actually can't remember the last time I performed at an open mic, it's been that long. I haven't done much singing this winter because my cough has been so bad. It's been several months since I've sang on a regular basis. In addition I've been trying to be more balanced in my life and not spend sooo much time playing guitar and singing, but spend more time doing other things as well. Needless to say I was and am rusty on both the guitar and singing. I hadn't played at all today, and decided to perform anyhow. Even though I felt incredibly unprepared and my voice felt weak from the months with this chronic cough. It's only been a day or two that I have felt that I could sing even a little bit without coughing fits. Needless to say I sucked BIG time. I am frustrated and at the point again where I think I just suck, totally and completely suck and this is NOT something I should be doing. But, when I'm doing it and NOT sucking, it feels like it's exactly where I need to be and should be and was meant to be doing. I'm deciding to journal after each experience to see if I can't eliminate the sucking events and increase the good ones. I feel totally defeated at the moment. I don't know if anyone ever sees these posts and it doesn't matter. I just want to get my thoughts out and hopefully improve, or realize I should stop. The experience of "journaling" will help me figure it out.....I hope.