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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Open Mic Journals

Open Mic Journals

Just returned from an open mic. It's been a long time. I actually can't remember the last time I performed at an open mic, it's been that long. I haven't done much singing this winter because my cough has been so bad. It's been several months since I've sang on a regular basis. In addition I've been trying to be more balanced in my life and not spend sooo much time playing guitar and singing, but spend more time doing other things as well. Needless to say I was and am rusty on both the guitar and singing. I hadn't played at all today, and decided to perform anyhow. Even though I felt incredibly unprepared and my voice felt weak from the months with this chronic cough. It's only been a day or two that I have felt that I could sing even a little bit without coughing fits. Needless to say I sucked BIG time. I am frustrated and at the point again where I think I just suck, totally and completely suck and this is NOT something I should be doing. But, when I'm doing it and NOT sucking, it feels like it's exactly where I need to be and should be and was meant to be doing. I'm deciding to journal after each experience to see if I can't eliminate the sucking events and increase the good ones. I feel totally defeated at the moment. I don't know if anyone ever sees these posts and it doesn't matter. I just want to get my thoughts out and hopefully improve, or realize I should stop. The experience of "journaling" will help me figure it out.....I hope.


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